literature

The Eternal Dance

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helekri's avatar
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Literature Text

If you could say something was "very unique" this would have been it: a light yellow eating away screaming baby blue, wind teasing the young leaves adamant to grow, small crystals of passing snow floating across grey roads.  When breezes of dust blind eyes and crust teeth with small diamonds, the crushing uneventfulness of things that may possess end up being the norm to which to compare everything and all.

No such a day like a day like this seemed possible to exist. The quick greens of fresh grass rising from the depths of light toffee ochre comrades, the yellow blossoms trying to outshine a neighbouring bride white flower, still the red squirrels a little grey watching from their branches the fluffy clouds rise. A mid-day cutout from a fairy tale book, most are sure. In truth, all that ever was true of Summer being born, the change marking our ages, happened on a day not too dissimilar of what this was. And so was it all last year, but we were too eager to forget.

Soon it would be the time for pink cherry blossoms, buzzing happily striped bumblebees with their ridicolously small wings, endless summer nights, first signs of alizarin crimson sundowns before dark, sitting late at the lake with the last waves of the day turning velvety blue with the first breath of cold. There we are, two strangers claiming to know each other.

Vivid cries of birds on the other side of the lake, still nesting like we shouldn't be. My hair is loose, or half on a ponytail, you never could tell which, almost ready to fly in the dying wind, your eyes caressing the rocky shore, me with a cold glass of swirling melted ice intervining the smoky gold of fine Irish whiskey crowning my existence, you in your ripe olive green jacket breaking the silence for a question extremely unserious or deep I never know how to answer to. Like whether I was a queen of something. I didn't know how to answer, what to make of it, silently swearing I would think about it. To buy myself a little time, I answered the only serious words with a hint of double entendre I could reach: would I know?
For *simplyprose April Word Association Prompt:
"queen. squirrel. unique."
376 words, excluding the title.

(omg just realised I used "squirrels"... have to rewrite?)
(and I still can't use the category system or titles: there really should be some kind of "Most Mundane Titles Ever" Award" so I'd win something too! suggestions for cat & title appreciated)

Have you ever noticed that the first flowers in the Spring are white and yellow, the reds come into play only when the summer has really started?
And how every year there's a day you feel like nothing you have felt that year, like nothing you'll feel the whole year and you think you have never felt like it, and never will again?
How you are ready to change everything, jump deep into things you might otherwise shy away from?
And how the Spring crashes into Summer, everything that slowly started turn into something completely different without any warning, without noticing?
And finally, how you stop noticing it all, wonder what on earth were you thinking, how to find the brakes - at least untill the leaves turn red.

With the 36 minutes I had, I tried to write down that day, the moment, the things you think about and the things you take in. And how it's suddenly July and you find yourself somewhere, trying to make a sense of it all. How you want to be wiser the next time.
© 2009 - 2024 helekri
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simplyprose's avatar
Very stream of consciousness; I like how strongly the setting came across in this--I was reminded of spring even without needing all the sensory cues. (My favorite, though? "Alizarin crimson." There needs to be more use of that color in writing.)

The verb tenses seem a little unsteady and, with the sentence structure, it's impossible to realize that there is supposed to be something going on. Perhaps give a little more space in between the long rushes of description, or use something like parallel construction to set up a more obvious theme.